This coming Tuesday, I will be 34 weeks. Last week, I had an ultrasound and midwife appt. The baby's momma and the baby's aunt came to the appt. It was so nice to see them again. There were no problems reported from ultrasound, baby is head down, my blood pressure remains great and baby's heart rate is great. Everyone wants me to get a flu shot so I need to get that done. We discussed labor & delivery options. The plan is for the momma to spend the night in the room with me on the pull out bed and be able to care for the baby immediately. I have my Strep B test next appt. If it is negative, the baby can leave the hospital after 24 hours, otherwise will need to stay 48 hours.
The big news is that this baby is ALREADY measuring at 5 pounds, 15 ounces - basically 6 pound baby! The midwife estimated an 8 pounder for sure! Oh my! My biggest/last/3rd child was 7.7.
On the way home, I was filled with emotion as this journey is nearing the end. It is difficult to explain all the emotions involved with surrogacy. Sometimes I feel detached from it, just performing a "job", then other times I grasp the significance of it all.......wow, it really is amazing. Lately, I have felt the desire to have a baby to love. I wish my sister who is due in a few weeks lived closer so I could love on her baby - she lives 14 hours away. I do NOT want another baby to raise - no way, just to love on. It is very weird - all these feelings. The feelings for this baby IS different from what I felt for my own children - I loved my children and knew the responsibility that I would have after their birth to continue that love and nurturing. I care for this baby and feel responsible for it's well-being while it is with me, but will be ready to pass this baby on to it's parents to love and nurture. My body and hormones are telling me to prepare to care for a newborn, but my mind tells me the reality of the situation.......we are also VERY done having children for ourselves, so the desire to have another one for ourselves is NOT there. However, it is weird to feel that feeling of wanting to be around a baby to love on. Does anyone understand this????
We are all getting super excited to meet this baby and add a wonderful addition to a great family!
Her Only Solace Was Action
7 years ago
I can't say I know yet, but what you describe is just how I expect I will feel. We are VERY done having our own children as well. I'm only 11 weeks but I definitely feel different than when pregnant with my own. I'm sure I will be bummed when they go home to Spain and there's no baby for me to hold, but I definitely don't want to bring one home with me!
ReplyDeleteCarla, I don't have any kids, but I know how you feel. Bryan and I aren't ready to have kids that are ours to raise yet but every once in a while, I truly wish that I had a baby to love on for a bit. I used to use all of my lovely IL friends' kids, but now that we are in CO, I don't know anyone with babies. I'm still in awe of you and how amazing this thing is that you're doing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being honest with your feelings. I really appreciate that about you!!!
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